A Letter to my mother

I'm not sure if you read my website but i will feel better in the end.
You have no loyalty to grandmother or me. You continually blame all yours issues on everyone but yourself. I made a promise to papa and i have kept it inside and outside. I take care of grandma I make sure she gets her medications and get's to all of her Dr appt's on time and You are to wrapped up in your animals and your drug use that you have lost the real truth's in life so to speak. You get the truth and lie's all mixed up and you don't even know what is right from wrong. I am not dating anyone married. And john isn't even married.
If you really were sorry for what you said and did you wouldn't tell everyone a different story. The reason you are so confused about everything is your so high all the time you don't know whats going on. As for grandma, taking care of her doesnt get old. She took care of me when i was younger and stepped up when you were out doing whatever with who ever. She tells youthe truth whether you want to hear it or not.
At age 17 i stepped away from the house and never went back because of how you treated me. You have only one daughter and you can't even make a mence due to your drug habit and you blaming game. GROW UP CAROL...

DEAR MARY THANKYOU FOR THE INSIGHT. GLAD YOU AND MIKEY WERE THERE FOR MOM'S BDAY. I SENT HER A FUNNY E-MAIL CARD WITH DOGS SINGING AS I KNEW WITH THE MAIL DOWN HERE WHO KNOWS WHEN SHE WILL GET HER BDAY CARD. I HVE APOLOGIZED TO FAWN , SENT HER ATLEAST 100 TEXT MESSAGES. CARDS, LEFT MESSAGES ON HER CELL PHONE AND HOUSE PHONE. I GET CRAZY E-MAILS FROM HER FRIENDS LIKE THE ONE I FORWARDED ON TO YOU FROM JOHN, HER OLD PARTNER FROM KEEGO FIRE DEPT. WHEN I ASKED MY MOM ABOUT IT SHE TOLD ME I SHOULD HAVE NEVER GIVEN HIM MY E-MAIL ADDDRESS AND I SAID HOW COULD I HAVE GIVEN HIM MY E-MAIL ADDRESS WHEN I DON'T EVEN KNOW IT. MOM SAID HE WAS MARRIED WITH 2 CHILDREN AND WAS UNHAPPY IN HIS MARRIAGE AND WANTED TO DATE FAWN. I ASKED HER IF SHE THOUGHT THAT WAS OKAY WITH HER, FOR FAWN TO BE DATING A MARRIED MAN. FAWN SHOULD BE DISCUSSING HER ISSUES WITH ME, NOT HAVING HER FRIENDS SENDING ME VISCIOUS E-MAILS AND HAVING THE WHOLE FAMILY TREATING ME LIKE I AM PSYCHOTIC AND ON THE VERGE OF SUICIDE. MOM MAKES EXCUSES FOR HER AND I UNDERSTAND WHY AS SHE IS HER ONLY SUPPORT SYSTEM AND I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING SHE DOES FOR HER. I WILL NOT EVER BE COMING BACK TO MICHIGAN AGAIN. I PROBABLY WILL NOT BE SPEAKING TO MY DAUGHTER AGAIN.
I LOVE HER VERY MUCH SHE HAS RIPPED MY HEART OPEN AND DOES NOT CARE ABOUT ANYONE EXCEPT MY MOM AND HERSELF. I WORRY ABOUT WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN MOM DIES AND SHE WILL GO BACK TO HER EMPTY LIFE BECAUSE SHE NEEDS TO BE NEEDED SO BAD. HER WORLD IS MOM AND WORK AND THAT IS IT. I LOVE HER VERY MUCH BUT I HAVE TO LET HER GO. SHE WON'T TALK TO ME. SHE PUT UP THE BRICK WALL AROUND HERSELF AND I HAVE MADE MULTIPLE ATTEMPTS TO COMMUNICATE WITH HER AND SHE HATES ME AND THAT IS HER CHOICE.
I GUESS SHE JUST WISHES I WOULD GO AWAY AND DIE AND THEN SHE WILL BE HAPPY I DON'T KNOW THANX FOR ALL YOU 2 DO FIOR MOM I HAVE TO GO NOW BECAUSE THIS IS MAKING ME CRY TOO MUCH AND I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THE ANIMALS LOVE YOU BOTH VERY MUCH.....CAROL AND THE ZOO

my aunt's letter to my mom

Hi Carol,

It was a low keyed but nice celebration for your mom's big 80th Bday. Pretty amazing to live that long! whew!

I talked with Fawn and well, she is set in her ways. ( not a surprise, no?) She is pretty hurt/mad/upset from her last visit to you and she is not giving it up. Sounds like you need to step up Momma Carol and show her that you want to make amends and that is the right thing to do. It seems like many feelings are hurt and well, I think you need to be the bigger person if this is going to resolve soon. I worry about her working as hard as she does without out the benefit of family support. She is quite attentive to your Mom which is nice for the both of them, but she can burn out there too. Let me know what you think. I know you can figure this one out.

love you, Mary

Granny

Well this weekend is going to be awesome. It is my grandma's 80th birthday. I am pretty stoked. I'm not sure what I am gonna get her yet. I know i am ordering her cake tomorrow. I'm open to any idea's??? I mean what do you buy a woman that has everything???? So if anyone has any idea's let me know.

another response

Again, you leave me speechless. Really do take care of you, live your life to the best and that is the best example for your Fawn. I realized after my last note, I have spoken to Fawn briefly since our visit. She and her gram are tight. I will have to trust she is taking care of herself and living her best life. It is tough economy for all, especially in Detroit.... Love to all. Send my love to Sue if you talk with her too....... M

The response back

Hi Carol,

I really don't what to say, and I am not usually short on words! If there is something I can do to help you out, let me know, I will try my best.

I have tried but I haven't talked with Fawn since we were there to help move your Mom. I have written you since then and I let you know how heartbroken Fawn seemed from her frantic visit with you. It seems like you really need an honest conversation with her. From experience, a self responsible, honest conversation can go a long way.

We talk with your Mom at least once a week. You know where she lives: it is great for her. Fawn fusses over her. But your Mom is aging and lonely. Her 80th birthday is this month and I hope we can get back there for a visit. Mike's new work load is heavy right now, but hopefully we can get there for a few days.

Hugs and more hugs, always, Mary

The lastest entertainment from my mother to my aunt

thank you for your kind letter.Halsted place is wonderful i went and stayed there when gram died and told them when i got old i would like to come live there. I do also call mom at least once a week and ask her how fawn is and she says busy. I asked her if she showed her the article of bill and i and my service dog in the paper and she said yes it was okay.Then she talks about how wonderful fawn is to her and she only has her. i tell her i love her and say goodbye.If fawn has this drama in her head about how her visit here went i cannot change it. She said some hateful things to bob she inherited my sharp tongue, but does not have the maturity to know when to say she is sorry or to back down. I know she is busy i used to work only 80 hrs a wk now i work more than that and i don't get paid. Tonite we are going to the home of the autistic child where i placed one of my rescue dogs, this will be interesting for bob. He has never been around an autistic child. And as in regards to fawn's frantic trip down here she wasn't around me long enough to get frantic about anything. She wants to play the martyr and the drama queen i love her but i pity her.She has allowed mom to consume her life and she has consumed hers what will she have left when mom is gone she will have nothing else to control because she cannot find joy in herself or her life and that is so sad. I hope she finds someone safe she can talk too before her world crashes down on her...love to the kitties carol
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Yet another shooting

So we go on a shooting at 1030am. We arrive there and find a 57 y/o male on the couch. I look down and he has a left open TIB/FIB. Which to normal peeps is the left lower leg. He states he got shot between 1am and 3am this am. Only like 7 hours ago. I said sir "uhhhh why did u wait 7 hours". He states he didn't have a phone. He states he was shot cause he took someone Else's gun. So splint his leg. start a 16 gauge I.V. and load him into the rig and give him 5mg of morphine. Which of course doesn't touch the pain. Notify Hurley's. and off to Hurley's. They take x-rays and his leg is blown up....

July 4th

I have to say that this is the first fourth i have had off in a long time. So tonight i think i am going to the famous GIFF party. I will see people that i havn't seen in a few months. So i'm pretty stoked. Happy 4th everyone